Nguyên tắc 90/10 của ông Stephen Convey cho rằng, khi mình gặp phải điều không vừa ý, nếu mình bình tỉnh đối phó, thì mình không làm cho tình hình xấu hơn. Cốt lõi chỉ có vậy, nhưng giải thích thì dài dòng. Tại sao lại dựa vào con số 90/10 mà không có cơ sở gì hết?
Việt nam ta có nhiều nguyên tắc hay hơn và đầy đủ hơn. Chẳng hạn như, một điều nhịn, chín điều lành. Nếu con gái bạn làm đổ cà phê lên áo bạn, mình chỉ việc để ý hơi thở và mỉm cười. Thế là xong.
Tương tự, khi ai lái xe cắt ngang phía trước mình, mình chỉ việc để ý hơi thở, dùng hơi thở để nhắc mình tỉnh thức. Ta vừa thở, vừa mỉm cười. Thế là xong. Nếu ai bóp còi phản đối ta, thì ta chỉ việc dơ tay xin lỗi, bất kể là ta có lỗi hay không. Tránh voi chẳng xấu mặt nào.
Mọi cái trên đời đều theo luật nhân quả, nghiệp, và vô thường. Vì ta khôn và biết suy nghĩ, cho nên ta phải tránh gieo nhân xấu. Mặt khác, ta nên gieo nhân lành, càng nhiều càng tốt. Vì vạn sự khởi đầu bằng chữ Tâm, cho nên nếu ta giữ tâm ý trong sạch, thì ta vui vẻ, trẻ trung, làm việc có kết quả hơn.
Bất cứ hành động và ý nghĩ gì mà ta lập đi lập lại, sẽ tạo ra nghiệp. Để có nghiệp tốt, thì ta nên tỉnh thức và cẩn thận.
Đời là vô thường. Khi ta sinh ra, ta không có tài sản vật chất (materials) nhưng ta có nghiệp. Khi ta chia tay trái đất, tài sản vật chất (materials) không theo ta, nhưng nghiệp (chồng chất) đi theo ta. Vì ta khôn, cho nên... khi còn thở, ta phải liên tục tạo nghiệp tốt và chuyển nghiệp xấu.
Tóm lại, nếu ta ghi nhớ "một điều nhịn chín điều lành", và áp dụng khôn ngoan luật nhân quả, nghiệp, và vô thường, thì ta sẽ thấy tổ tiên ta đã để lại cho ta nguyên tắc sống hay và đầy đủ hơn nguyên tắc 90/10 của ông Stephen.
Cước chú: Sau đây là nguyên văn nguyên tắc 90/10 mà chúng tôi chép lại trong 90-10_Principle.pps (Carlos Rangel).
The 90/10 Principle (Stephen Convey)
10% of life is made up of what happens to you
90% of life is decided by how you react...
What does this mean?
We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.
A driver may cut us off in the traffic.
We have NO control over this 10%.
The other 90% is different.
You determine the other 90%.
How?... By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light.
However, you can control your reaction.
Do not let people fool you.
You can control how you react.
Let us use an example...
You are having breakfast with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
Onto your business shirt.
You have no control over what has just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, you turn to your wife
and you criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table
A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying
to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school.
She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work.
You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing
$60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.
Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your
wife and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is "D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
How is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you.
Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say: "It's okay, honey, you just need to be more careful next time."
Grabbing a tower you go upstairs and change your shirt.
You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the
window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
Notice the difference.
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you reacted.
You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life.
The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle.
If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge.
Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You do not have to
let the negative comments affect you.
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could
result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in the traffic?
Do you lose your temper?
Pound on the steering wheel? (A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off),
Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket?
Who cares if you arrive 10 seconds later at work?
Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 Principle and don't worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated?
It will work out.
Use your worrying energy and time to find a new job.
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day.
Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?
She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out?
It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90/10 Principle. Apply it and you will be amazed
at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90/10 Principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this Principle.
The result?
You will see it by yourself!
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.
We all must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle.
It can change your life.
Enjoy it.
It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience.
Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it's like a Boomerang. It will come back to us...
If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first...
Maybe we will end with our hands empty, but our heart will be filled with love.
And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their heart...
